Falcon 2002: Part 1

Eleven years ago, I headed to Carrollton, Ohio, for the start of my first summer as a four weeker at Falcon. This would be my third summer, so I was familiar with the place, the activities, and even lots of the people. I didn't know it yet, but something big would happen this summer. This summer I would become friends with Elizabeth (name changed). (Actually, several big things happened, but I want to talk about one specific thing. We'll get to the next one in Part Two.)

Let me tell you where this story is heading--at the end of this summer, my 14th at camp, I'm going to be in Elizabeth's wedding. 

That summer, Falcon 2002, I arrived and moved into my cabin. Elizabeth was already there, had already been there for four weeks. She had been coming to camp for a couple years longer than me, and stayed for six weeks each summer. Although she was only a month older than me, the year before she had been a cabin above me. Sometimes things work out this way because of a large number of a certain age. Because of this, I didn't really know Elizabeth, except as the cool girl who had been coming to camp forever and was friends with The Twins (the two coolest girls (in my mind) from the year before). 

But Summer 2002 threw us together. Needless to say I was a little intimidated. Elizabeth and I both have pretty strong personalities, so this was either going to result in something great, or Clash of the Titans. Of course, as a 13 year old, I didn't really comprehend any of this. 

By day three or four of my time, nothing had happened. We were supposed to go on a canoe trip. For different reasons, neither Elizabeth nor I was excited. Our counselor told us that we could go in the motorboat, but we should keep in mind it would just be us, and we should figure out how to help each other. We spent the next 45 minutes before evening activity talking about everything. Why we were upset, what we liked to do, how annoying our counselor was for making us do this. But if that night wasn't turn out to be a huge turning point, then I'll eat my hat. From then on, Elizabeth was one of my closest friends. When something was wrong, I talked to her. When we were bored, we found each other. Luckily, we were the kind of campers who loved our individual activities enough that we didn't just go where the other person was.

When camp ended, the hard part started. I lived in Chicago, Elizabeth in Cleveland. But two weeks at camp was all it took to know this was someone I wanted to be friends with forever. So we talked on the phone every day. I remember one month (and I'm guessing this happened more than once) when I had to pay my part of the phone bill because we talked so much, and it was over $70. 

I would visit Elizabeth every winter break, and when my whole family went to Cleveland for Passover, I'd talk myself out of as many family obligations as possible in order to hang out. Keep in mind this would be Passover so I couldn't eat any non-Kosher-for-Passover food. The first time this happened we went to the mall and wanted a snack. After wandering the mall for a while searching, we came up with deli pickles and Diet Coke, and paid for it with mostly coins (remember, 13 year olds!). To this day we joke about this delightful meal. 

Finally, it would be camp time again. Camp was a short couple weeks that felt like eternity of eating pretzels dipped in frosting, playing games, and talking late into the night. And Elizabeth was the person to do it with. We only spent 10 weeks total together at camp over 3 summers, but that was all we needed to form the basis of a true and strong friendship. At camp, making friends is different. You're living together, sharing everything from experiences to bedspace. You also have to figure out how to navigate the things that aren't as easy: arguments over how something happened to misplaced items and more. Counselors mediate differently than teachers or parents do, allowing and sometimes even pushing campers to figure out how to work things out mostly by themselves, with the older presence ready to step in when needed. I know most campers, counselors, and alumni would tell you that they have forever friends they made at camp, and for a lot of them, the number of weeks they've actually spent together there is limited. 

When we were 14, I met Elizabeth's boyfriend. With a 14 year old's naivete and confidence about love, I wrote her a letter telling her how awesome I thought this guy was, and how I was sure he was the one and that I was excited to go to their wedding many years down the road. Like I said earlier, in August I'm going to be a bridesmaid in Elizabeth's wedding. To her boyfriend from when she was 14. Who I predicted she'd marry. Am I saying I have great instincts about love and/or can see the future? No, but I'm not denying it either. 

I'm so excited (and honored!) to be a part of her wedding. It's been a lot of years, many ups and downs, some periods of more or less closeness, like all friendships. But I'm so glad to know the kind, smart, amazing person that is Elizabeth, and I owe that to Falcon 2002. 

What Falcon Taught Me As A Mom

 Parenthood.  It seems like such a simple word.  But as a mom of three children I am challenged, fulfilled and exhausted as I try to meet the daily demands of these ten letters.  Mistakes come with the job. I know I make them frequently.  In fact, my four year old is most likely tabulating a list of these mishaps she will present within the year in exchange for more TV time. Yet parenting mistakes bring on a whole new set of guilt that far surpasses many of my other errors.  There is just so much riding on this role.  

  It is in this parenthood journey that I appreciate and call upon all of the values I learned from Falcon.  These values help me aim for a destination and not to worry about the side steps along the way.  So for the next few weeks, I humbly present a few of these values below starting with how I learned them at camp and how it has carried into my life as mom.  

The First Mom Value I Learned at Falcon: Perseverance

Falcon: As a camper, that first day was always the hardest for me.  I kept on my brave face while making my bed and unpacking my things.  But the goodbye before swim tests made my heart race, stomach turn, and palms sweat. 

One of my top secret coping strategies was to think of all the unfair things my dad had done in the previous year.  I fully needed and deserved to have a phone in my room.  He needed to understand talking back was a way of expressing my opinion.  It may sound crazy, but that was enough to get me through the goodbyes and shift into enjoying the place where I spent all of my summers.

    Tough days can happen and for lots of different reasons.  But at Falcon we appreciate the opportunity that a tough situation can create.  It is the chance for our children to learn how to persevere in a place where the staff offers support and guidance for kids to work it out.  As adults, we so often want to fix things for our kids when what they really need is the experience of working it through themselves.  

Mommyhood: Just when I thought helping campers navigate toward a direction without trying to determine it was tough, I became a mom.  The need to love and shelter your children conflicts and sometimes tries to suffocate that ability to step back and let your babies work through the situation. 

  So our moment was swim lessons.  The class descriptions were rather vague and I placed my six year old as best I could based on her abilities.  She had all of her high stress indicators on the way into the pool: chewing on her suit, blushed cheeks, and holding my hand tightly. But she sat down with her class and waved to me on the bench. The other students looked larger and older.  It had been months since she swam and my heart began to pound.  The warm up was two lengths of the pool.  She was by far the slowest as the other students were resting on the wall and she still needed to swim another half of a length.  It is in those moments my need to protect her overwhelms all logic. What if the other students laugh? How is she going to make it through another hour of this class? Engrossed in these thoughts, I resolve to change her out of this class and go to the lower level. The instructor, who has diligently followed next to her in the pool, asks if she is tired.  My mommy brain responds: Yes! Help her! Give her a nudge!  But my baby looks up and shakes her head no.  She shook her head because she was too out of breath to say it.  And so the rest of the lesson continued in much of the same fashion.  But my girl never quit. What a life lesson for the both of us.  

--Nici 

Culture Vs Climate

I recently read an interesting article on the difference between culture and climate in a school. The article posited that culture is "shared beliefs, its ceremonies, its nuances, the traditions and the things that make the school unique" (Jakes, Your climate, your culture). Culture is developed over years. Climate, on the other hand, is the now, the current conditions, impacted by many things like "contract negotiations, a death of a faculty member, a state championship, perhaps a change in leadership" (Jakes). Climate is constantly changing, and over time, influences the culture.

I think the same is true for camps. At Falcon, we've created a culture through things like Senehawk competitions, Awards Nights, commitment to friendship and compassion, and more. When I think about our culture, I think a large part of it would be being accepting of everyone, trying your best, and doing things with smiles on our faces and songs in our hearts, as unbelievably corny as that is. Those beliefs and morals date back many years and have been important at Falcon Camp for a long time.

Climate, on the other hand, is a cool thing to think about. I've seen it change at different times in my 14 years at camp. I've probably impacted it myself. When we add little things like Formal Dinner (new last year) that changes the climate until they become a part of traditions, and therefore part of the culture. Because we are a small place relying on each other a great deal running for a condensed period of time each year, climate can have a huge impact on our summer, and therefore we can always be thinking about how we are impacting it. I think the most important way we impact climate is how we respond to outside stimuli, be it a change in schedule due to weather, or a greeting from another camper. We choose to keep the climate and consequently culture an upbeat one. Instead of sitting in our cabins and moping when it rains, we decide to play mud soccer, or have a Bingo Night in the lodge. When someone says hi to us, we smile and say hi back instead of grunting in their general direction or not responding at all. All these little things means Falcon remains a place where people want to smile. And each one of us contributes to that.

Original Article: http://smartblogs.com/education/2013/02/28/your-climate-your-culture/